We sometimes forget...

So, I have been thinking about this a lot, and I guess sharing it couldn't hurt, because maybe some people feel the same way that I do.

I think that after you have weight loss surgery, or any kind of life-altering event comes your way; the whole process becomes more about the end, and not about the process.

I think at the beginning of this journey, and I say journey, because that is the best word to describe what the process is; I thought only about the end. I thought what it was going to be like to be "normal", to be "skinny". I think over the past 18 months, I have realized that it was not just the physical alteration of my insides that changed me; it was my willingness to give up a lifestyle that was making me unhealthy, unhappy and was bringing so much negativity into my life.

I think that the people who don't succeed in this process are the people who see this surgery as a means to an end. There is never an end. I wish there was, but there isn't. It's always going to be a struggle. It's always going to be hard to resist temptation when it's sitting right there in front of you. We are human beings and we are flawed and no matter how much you try to be, or how much you think you are, you will never be perfect.

That last statement is what really brought me to write this entry, because I think going into this, I thought everything was going to be perfect, and after I lost the weight that everything was just going to fall into place.
It was actually quite the opposite. Losing weight opened so many more doors to me that had been closed before because of physical barriers, and having those doors opened confused the hell out of me, to be perfectly honest. I thought I knew what I wanted to do, but when the world has more to offer, and you have more to give, what are you SUPPOSED to do?

Perfection is something that we all strive for, but I think what we have to realize is that perfection, like beauty, is in the eye of the beholder. What may be perfect to one person, may be critically and fatally flawed to the next. We can never know. That's why life is so confusing. I want my physical body to be perfect, or at least normal, but the chances of that happening in the near future are pretty slim, so I have to use the skills that I have used while in the PROCESS to cope. If I didn't have the process, how would I be able to cope?

I just thought it was important to get that out. It's the process that matters, not the endpoints. There is no end, sorry.

Adios mis amigos! Happy Spring Break!